I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
