I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Verdict: uncircumcised.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
