Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
