I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
