God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
