im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
