so that wasnt chicken after all
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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