im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
