I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
