It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
