I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
