is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
