he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
