this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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