I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
