u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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