I swear she didn't look like that last week.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize