So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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