im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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