i jhust puked up my retainher.
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Randomize
