The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
