i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
