Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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