If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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