420 ftw
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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