But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
