I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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