Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
