I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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