what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
