I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I have aggressive nipples.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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