Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
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After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
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