why didn't you poke me back
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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