6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
