You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
