I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
