I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
