At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
