Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Swine flu. Run for my life!
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
so much tequila, so little girl.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
