M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
