You really coming over, don't trick.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize