Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
