I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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