whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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