So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
How's work?
Spinning.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
