I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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