I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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