Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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