It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
