do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Dicks are not precious.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
