Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
