I want to make a zoo with you.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize