I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize