So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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