I hope mine doesn't look like that
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
