Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I need a burrito and a hug.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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