I wannas sexs uuuuu
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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