i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
