so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
