he shaved USA in his pubs
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
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I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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