Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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