i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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