mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize