guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Randomize
