You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize