I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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