It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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