Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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