I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
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