Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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