That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
tell your sister to shave her snatch
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Slut skills are useful in every country.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
