We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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